BrowGate: Ron Paul’s Eyebrows Hold – Comments

Offbeat Fun
BrowGate

BrowGate Update:  Ron Paul’s eyebrows stayed put tonight, but the comments across the country have expanded to include his senatorial son’s toupee from hell, and are posted here to satisfy all those searching for Ron Paul’s eyebrows (pun).  And then no more — BrowGate is over.

Campaign Comment for the Record:

Jesse Benton, a campaign spokesman, insisted that Mr. Paul had been the victim of the elements, namely a heavy pollen season in New Hampshire, and called accusations that he’d been artificially enhancing “stupid” and “insulting.”

“Dr. Paul’s allergies acted up a touch,” Mr. Benton said in an explanation that might raise some, you know, questions.

Not that Mr. Paul would be blamed for trying to keep up with bushy brows like Rick Perry’s, whose upper-eye area is full, or Mitt Romney, whose orbital outliers are sometimes speckled with gray.

National Comments (Selected):

Allergies? What? That doesn’t even make sense. I have allergies, they make me cough and sniffle. They don’t make my eyebrows fall off.

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Uhm, his allergies acted up so his eyebrows fell off? Is that what the spokesman is implying? And isn’t spring allergy season?

You know, if you don’t have anything remotely intelligent to say, just say you don’t have a clue.

Now I can’t wait for Michelle Bachmann’s head to fall off and have some alien looking creature crawl out of her.

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You think you know someone, and then something like this happens!

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I think Ron Paul’s ideas are absurd and his campaign is the very definition of “quixotic,” but this is a bum rap. Just go to Google images of him and you will see that he has a funny eyebrow on that side. It seems to dip down in most photos. This is literally a supercilious argument. (“Supercilious” is from the Latin supercilium, which means “eyebrow.”)

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GR8GUYCA: If that’s his real eyebrow then what’s the Joan Crawford-esque line behind and above it?

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Umm. Leave him along. Least he’s not a douchbag….

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Anyone else getting DEATH BECOMES HER vibes from this?

I’m picturing him in Meryl Streep’s role.

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@FACE IT “You think you know someone, and then something like this happens!”

Thank you! Hilarious!

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Drag queen tip #111: Don’t pluck your eyebrows too often or they won’t grow back.

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Designed by the same genius who made his even-loonier son’s Hell toupee.

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Eyebrows on older gentlemen tend to grow very long, and if they are not trimmed properly can flair, droop, or otherwise look totally bizarre. Either that is what we have here, or we are on the cusp of a major Browgate.

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That happens sometimes when his spaceship beams him down.

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His hands look like something from another species.

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I guess his makeup “artist” is looking for another job. He might as well be wearing Lee Press-On Nails and fake eyelashes.

Really, is decent makeup glue that costly? Or difficult?

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And I always thought my hair loss was due to genetics. Turns out it’s just plain old pollen. Who knew?!

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Tip of the Hat to Towleroad.