Marcus Aurelius: Marine Corps Bans Audible Farting in Afghanistan

Idiocy, Military
Marcus Aurelius

Washington – The United States Marine Corps has banned audible farting in Afghanistan because it is culturally offensive to civilians working with the military and members of the Afghan National Army.

The Military Times Marine Corps blog, Battle Rattle recently posted the news that “audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans.” The ban has caused a stir among former and current members of the military who question the reasoning behind the decision which has ignited a firestorm of comments from readers and fellow bloggers of Battle Rattle. Military soldiers have already been required to obey regulations ordering them to not curse around members of the Afghan army or the civilians they encounter while on patrol. They are also under orders to not discuss women or politics with people from Afghanistan. But for now, breaking wind could earn them an appearance before their superior officers. For the military that means no more gas blasters, bean bombers, flame-throwers or anal acoustics at night. The roar of morning thunder, air biscuits or flatulence by any name will no longer be tolerated. Anything but an inaudible passing of gas could get you in trouble if it's within earshot of an Afghani, according to Battle Rattle. Blogger Gina Cavallaro writesabout the ban on the offensive behaviour:

They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier). But farting? That’s practically a sport. Ok, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor.

Jim Campbell expressed his outrage over the decision by senior military officials and wrote: “So now we understand that Muslims in Afghanistan are offended by the sound of anal gas explosions but are quite comfortable with, beheading, stoning, female genital mutilation, pedophilia, amputations, and hanging or burning homosexuals.”

Read full article.

Phi Beta Iota:  We do not make this stuff up.  Ten years into killing all these people, and we focus on farts now?  Perhaps the Marine Corps should spend more time acquiring a proper weapon for its infantry, and keeping the US Navy honest on brown water capabilities including non-existent naval gunfire support.

See Also:

1991 MCG Intelligence Support for Expeditionary Planners

1990 Expeditionary Environment Analytic Model

1989 Expeditionary Environment Briefing

2008 U.S. Naval Power in the 21st Century

Journal: Intelligence & Innovation Support to Strategy, Planning, Programming, Budgeting, & Acquisition

Reference: Intelligence Support to Small Arms Acquisition–A Brilliant Indictment

Mario Profaca: Put Tynt “Read More” Cut and Paste Scam Out of Business– Plus Code Blockers

Commerce, Idiocy, IO Impotency
Mario Profaca

Must read this!

Tynt, the Copy/Paste Jerks

Daring Fireball

Friday, 28 May 2010

Over the last few months I’ve noticed an annoying trend on various web sites, generally major newspaper and magazine sites, but also certain weblogs. What happens is that when you select text from these web pages, the site uses JavaScript to report what you’ve copied to an analytics server and append an attribution URL to the text. So, for example, if I were using this “service” here on Daring Fireball, and you selected the first sentence of this article, copied it, then switched to another app to paste the text you just copied, instead of pasting just the sentence you selected and intended to copy, you’d instead get:

Over the last few months I’ve noticed an annoying trend on various web sites, generally major newspaper and magazine sites, but also certain weblogs.

Read more:

I.e., three blank lines followed by “Read more:”, then the URL from which the text was copied, then an identifying hash code used for tracking purposes.

Among the sites where I’ve seen this in use are TechCrunch (example) and The New Yorker (example). The JavaScript tomfoolery happens with most text copied from the site — whether you’re copying the entire article, a paragraph, or a sentence.

Read full article — includes code to block this insane intrusive idiocy.

Phi Beta Iota:  Although “corruption” can certainly include “idiocy” we felt it appropriate to recognize Tynt — and the morons that let them corrupt web sites — with a special new category — Idiocy.  Tip of the Hat to Mario Profaca for flagging, and Daring Fireball for putting into words — and providing code solutions –a public service.