How to Bribe a Member of Congress in Three Steps

Corruption, Government
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Step One:ย Contribute the maximum as an individual, then call staff and tell them you would like to become a bundler.

Step Two: bundle no less than $90,000, most of which will not appear to come from your corporationโ€“you provide the secret list of who contributed at your direction.ย  Make it clear that you understand that 5% of every delivered earmark is due as contributions within 90 days of delivery.

 

Step Three:ย  provide the Member with stock options and insider information worth at least $90,000 a year.ย  Use information easily converted into money in our thoroughly corrupt system of governance.

Once bribed, the Member is a well-behaved pet able to do simple tricks, such as insert 200 pages of lobbyist-written deregulation into a banking bill five minutes before the vote.ย  Since all but a handful of other Members are pets also, they will โ€œgo alongโ€ with this utterly insane aspect of passing โ€œlawsโ€ no one has read.

NOTE:ย  There is no difference between Republicans and Democrats when it comes to corruption.ย  One bird, two wings, same lack of integrity.

Thatโ€™s all there is to it.ย  Donโ€™t have the money because unemployment is at 22.4%, 46 million are on food stamps, the middle class is visiting charity pantries, and the poverty line is moving toward 20%?ย  Sucks for you.ย  God does not like you.ย  You must have been very bad in a former life,ย  Rich people are rich because they are geniuses that work hard, not because they lie, cheat, and steal.ย  Or so the story goesโ€ฆ.

See Also:

Congressmen are Paid to Vote for War

Pentagon Has Never Won a War Since 1945 โ€“ Advice to Candidates

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